The Pre Wash And Spin machine

T.P.A.S. (Tenant Participation Advisory Service) is not unlike an industrial washing machine and one which I will rename The Prewash And Spin machine for the purposes of the following analogy. The more soiled the load the greater the wash. The load in this case being Sanctuary Housing Association. With a heavily soiled load requiring more than one wash multiple programmes are available to make the load whiter than white if necessary. If the load is still stained after it’s final wash multiple spin/PR programmes are available to better present it to the public such as that which would be needed for Accreditation. If a complete whitewash is needed by way of better protecting the load from official action or scrutiny, such as that provided via Mediation, this can be purchased for just thirty pieces of silver more. Simply select the delicate silks/Lace type item switch. A final spin/report will ensure the load gets exactly the clean laundered finish it needed and payed for and for the good of it and the industry.

Although this metaphoric cleansing machine is primarily for the benefit of the main load, Sanctuary Housing Association, some small items, tenants in this case, are processed along with the main load via the small items empowerment programme. Unlike the main load most difficult small items will be expelled into the waste system early on. What articles are left are too soft and gentle to be of any harm to the main load anymore thanks to the prolonged use of key softeners. Once hung out to dry these small items will return to be as insignificant as they were before they were processed while the main load will continue to receive the admiration and protection of the industry. Over the course of time the main load will need to be refreshed, re-accreditation, so a gentle wash with spin/PR should support and uphold that initial investment and praise.

(If you are still unsure this machine is the one for you please Reid, no pun intended, ‘The Medevil History of Castle Sanctuary’ for a demonstration. See for yourself how good it deals with the heaviest and most difficult of soiled loads from Sanctuary Housing Association. Marvel at how the end result is so clean that  it is almost as if the bullshit and doggy doo was never there and the signs of lying and cheating never even existed. Now that’s what I call a real whitewash)